Taxi Vignettes

After reading a post on Cabhack Confessions* I thought back to a customer who liked to ride with Yellow Cab. I would try my best not to pick him up. I even heard that other drivers would suggest that he might prefer another cab company.

One afternoon he pulled a fast one. He was at a bar on the other side of town and I was the unlucky driver that got the call.

This guy was in a wheelchair and he was so plastered he couldn't turn his wheels. He asked if I could push him to the cab. Taxi drivers are instructed to give assistance to the handicapped, but I knew his game. I guess he had forgotten that we had been though this 'poor guy can't turn the wheels trick' when the cab driver is a woman routine. He would lean back so far so that his head would rest on the woman's chest.

I stood as far behind the chair as possible and I bent over with my head down. I managed to get the old f_rt home with my body untouched, but getting paid was not as easy. He would open his wallet, look at the money inside, and then close it back up.

After what should have been an easy call, taking up no more than 15-minutes, I found myself driving away a good 40-minutes later with only a $10 bill in my pocket. Reaffirming what all cabbies know: Drunks were put on earth to louse up our lives.

* Post on Cabhack Confessions

I am spending the day at home watching movies. The only thing related to the cab business might be to make sure that last week's taxi trip sheets are in order. I think I'll watch "The Yellow Cab Man" with Red Skelton.

My dad, a veteran of World War II, looked a bit like Red Skelton. My dad loved talking to people and he was a good driver. He would have enjoyed being a cab driver.

This morning started with an early trip up to San Francisco airport. It is always nice to have the day start with a big money run. That way no matter what the rest of the day sends my way, at least I'll have gas money. My eyes were feeling heavy and I won't drive if I'm even a little sleepy, so I pointed the cab toward home.

The taxi dispatcher was having it out with one of the drivers. It seems that the driver was on a 6:30am time call. Because it was then all of 6:34am, and the fare was not yet out, the driver was threatening to leave. One of the other drivers let his disapproval known by keying his mic and we were all treated to Fleetwood Mac just as I was near eBay. Did you see R2-D2 in the video?

The rumor going around the cab yard is that soon all the taxi radios will be changed out - the dispatcher will then know when any driver pushes the mic button. Yeah, take away all the fun. I'm going to sleep.

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Below and in the Archives are vintage vignettes.